As a Recruiter for any company, you basically have to wear the hat of company “cheerleader”. When I conduct interviews, I not only have to sell the position that each candidate is interviewing for, but I also have to ‘rep’ for the company as well. You have to convince the candidate that not only are they a great fit for the open position, but that the company is a great fit for them. You have to speak to the company culture. You have to tell the candidate that the work environment is open and encourages people to learn. You have to tell the candidate that “you’re not just working with XYZ Company colleagues, you’re working with family”. You have to convince the candidate that your company is growing and has a lot of effective business strategies in the works to “secure the future of the company as well as your job”. Finally you have to ensure the candidate will enjoy working for XYZ Company; true, they may be offered (a sh*t ton) more money to work at a larger company, but they will have more freedom with their work schedule and more opportunities to learn at your company. You hope that this will entice the candidate to later accept a job offer from your company (even though you told them the pay range was from $35k-$45k but failed to let them know that included the $4k-$6k that you are automatically deducting from their starting salary to apply towards their “employer paid health insurance” although if it’s employer paid, they shouldn’t be lowering their starting salary range right???).
There is so much you have to do as the “cheerleader” of your company when you are Recruiter. This can become quite challenging when you hate everything about the company you work for. Yes, I’m saying EVERYTHING: 80% of your colleagues, your work responsibilities, the pay structure (or lack thereof), the “benefits” program (I use the word “benefits” loosely because our program is pretty laughable and not competitive with other companies in our industry), and the non-existent performance management review process.
What I hate most of all is the fact that the majority of people I work with (that 80% that I immensely dislike) are the most self-important, arrogant, petty, unintelligent people I have ever met in my entire life. If you and I had a five hour conversation, I could fill that entire five hours with funny and head shaking anecdotes about the people I work with. No one knows how to manage people. No one knows how to implement new procedure efficiently. No one knows how to communicate the need for change in our business practices. Those with new ideas get chastised and are failed to be taken seriously. No one knows how to improve company morale. It’s like I’m working with a bunch of 10 years playing “Business School” in elementary, except at least the 10 year olds try super hard to make their employees happy.
Well friend, you and I don’t have the luxury of a 5 hour chit chat, so I decided that a short blog about the different types of people I work with mixed in with some funny anecdotes about things that happen here that blow my little career-loving, hard-working mind would be effective and entertaining. So grab a cup of joe, or black tea for all you healthnuts out there, put your feet up, turn off your cell phone, stop checking your work emails and get ready for the silliest work experiences you wish you never heard.
Thanks!
Employee #1 and #2 doing business as (DBA) THE TWEEDLES….
